A very nice Sunday everyone, first of all, to all my (appreciated) readers.
Now that we have the kiss asses out the way, let’s dive into today’s topic: laughter. Sunday should be light, bit more entertaining than thought provoking, so according to such royal great intentions, here are some of the jokes I like the most:
“Brexit is a terrible name, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated.” Tiff Stevenson
China has a population of a billion+ people. One billion+. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand+ others exactly like you!
“I’ve been happily married for four years – out of a total of 10.” Mark Watson
“Why is it old people say ‘there’s no place like home’, yet when you put them in one …” Stuart Mitchell
“Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?” Annie McGrath
“Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.” Jordan Brookes
“Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer.” Arthur Smith
“I’ll tell you what’s unnatural in the eyes of God. Contact lenses.” Zoe Lyons
“Elton John hates ordering Chinese food. Soya seems to be the hardest word.” Phil Nicol
Extra: – A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’