OMG, it happened!

And it should have been in the news of international outlets, as spicy Breaking News item! All over the world. The thing everyone has talked and joked about so so long, decades, if not centuries, it has been spotted:

THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD!

chicken-crossed-the-road
However, we still don’t know why! No video footage about the remarkable event

Sadly, right now that is all what we know, as the individual caught the action could only provide above photograph. Authorities and news outlets’ reporters are searching for the delinquent; former to write a fine, latter to have an interview about his true motivations.

One day we might really figure out the mystery…until then, just keep reading serious sounding rubbish like this one here.

😀

10 dirty minded jokes

I know, why wait so long?!

Truth is, there is work, animals, great weather, and uninspired 5 days, so plenty of reasons why couldn’t post. But we do now! And how…. NSFW baby! 🙂

  • 1. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
    A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
  • 2. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
    Beat it. We’re closed.
  • 3. Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
    For fingering a minor.
  • 4. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
    One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
  • 5. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
    He only comes
  • 6. What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
    A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
  • 7. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
    One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
  • 8. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
    Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!
  • 9. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
    Because his wife died.
  • 10. What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
    There are twenty of them.

Why so serious…#2

“Gooooood mooorninng…” and then putting there Blogosphere instead of Vietnam, but still imagine Robin Williams’ voice from the movie and funny facial expressions back from the time. How I miss that actor, such sad story! 

But hey, today’s task is laughter, laughing, or, being the reason of such for others. Good purpose, I suppose. Sundays I receive jokes in my Gmail-box, through a years old subscription ongoing, and I saw some fun memes on the profile of a relative…I stole one. Because, hell yeah! 😁 

Jokes then first, translated, so I hope I am going to present those well:

  • How do you call the religious superhero?  – A-Men!
  • Honey, would you want to travel in a huge, blue car, with many horsepowers, and a driver behind the steering wheel?! – Oh yes, that would be great! – Come then and get on the bus.
  • Stewardess to the passenger: “Would you like to have a dinner sir?” ‘What can I choose from?’ “Well, Yes or No.”
  • The couple is driving for two hours already, if not three, when the wife is yelling and panicking: ” We have to turn back, I forgot to turn off and disconnect the iron, house will burn down!!” ‘Oh, don’t worry, it won’t,’ – starts the husband – ‘I forgot to close the water in the bathroom!’
  • Employer to the employee: ” Smith, it is already the fifth time for you being very late! You know what this means…?!”  ‘Yes. It’s Friday already!’ 🤣 

Meme time:

Text of meme: “I bought a house at IKEA”

“Oh dad, this weed is the sizzler”

Some days

Some grey days I struggle to post any article in lack of inspiration. Those are the days when I write a deep poetry then, a short fiction story, tell crazy jokes, or giving birth for wise quotes…Today is such a day.

(Myself, still pleased)

entering zoo
Entering the zoo, 2 years ago…there is more to tell about that day, besides that this was the first I’ve spot up on entering the place 😀

I will show and tell more about that zoo day…was great. Huge.

 

 

Insomnia feast with no dips

This is not the usual posting. But, what is that anyway?!

You can take this as a quickly made parody from me, got inspiration while listened to one of my old favorite electronic tracks on Spotify, Faithless’ InsomniaA great track by the way. Click on that link to listen first on YouTube, if you need to refresh your memory.

Mind you, this is just written in some minutes, blindly, like in ten, fifteen; while listened to the song over and over, so by no means would this be with the music, rhythm perfectly synced text. Despite, I think it’s a relatively nice try. And a joke. Because, you know: why so serious?! We have different means to keep Monday blue out the door.

Deep in the crowd of the restaurant’s night,
When I search for Coke Light, I see nuggets hide.
I struggle my fight with forces to use my right,
And without fear, I order some.
Awe-some. Can have dips?

I wanted to hurry, stood there in worry, deep,
Getting stressed in excess test of dark dips
There is no sweet sour just curry and chilli,
The feeling of it all over me creeped.
In sanity, please let me dream, and my dishes,
Of making grand love with my favorite dip
At the tables’ heat,
Tearing off pieces of chicken nuggets.
There is no release no peace, with
Just a mere thought of a feast.

Like a cursed open my eyes in rising fears,
At least a couple of weeks since I last had it,
Taking my favorite dips.
But now I packed myself nugged
When box arrived, tonight, with no candle light.
Just to find inside , funds of nuggets, ahhh.
The feaster in my nature under restless attack:
I get NO dip
I can’ t get SWEET dip!

I know, I know…what’s wrong with him, you ask.

Image credits to: this site

 

 

 

So bad, it’s almost good

Hey hey, I sure hope you missed me! To be honest, and I am always with you, we had a fantastic walk-all-the-ways with soulmate.

As most people these days, I’m also part of (but addicted to) this social media habit, so it comes natural, I am on Google Plus too. In fact, I’m member of it since its invite only test programme, while in beta. It’ s nothing like what it once used to be… 😦

In the early start days of publicly opened G+, we had a huge, funny, intelligent crowd there. Great quality posts came all the time by, awesome, huge conversations developed 24/7. It used to be a community. And as such, we started to invented fun stuffs, posting series around topics. So was, Wordsturbation. Yep, you read it right. 🙂

Don’t worry, it is cleaner than it looks.

Wordsturbation: call new expressions alive to be able to express situations, things with one word, and if can, make it funny.  For one’s own joy. This is already, until then, a non-existing word to express this extremely useful, inventive online activity, with one word.

Well, we took Think Different to a total new level.

Some other examples, without completion:

  • Shitastrophy: word used for massive mess ups, fucked up situations, epic fails with (near) life changing effects.
  • CATostrophy: above, caused by cats, suffered by theirhuman servants.
  • Catolympics: a series of, by cats invented, recurring challenge activities, involved any obstacles randomly chosen and high jumps, running; where at you hoped at the end you still have a home.
  • Shiturday: it is not as cute as the ever famous Caturday, but shit involved jokes, memes, and some other things I don’ t call here made it a short living hilariousity.
  • Icewers: Post about people’s flower creations…from ice cream.
  • Notifuckation: notifications people intentionally annoy you with, or, caused by unexpected popularity
  • Plusfucking: when user(s) plussed as many of your posts as possible in an incredibly short time. LOL, good luck going through who and what, all the notifications. This “kind gesture” by the way (there were rules!) , favor, had to be returned.
  • Wordsturbing: comes from wordsturbation (look above).
  • Gaypire: Expressing the new type of vampires made by writer of the Twilight books, visualized by the producers of that @#?$ :-(@!*# of a movie, Edward as main shiny character, obvious showcase of creators’ gay vampire sketch. Gaypire.

I think you got the idea. There have been many through the years, but also many got forgotten sadly. Or fortunately, depends on, you do or do not have a sense of humor without being overly prude, or a hypocrite.